I remember reading a blog post from the infamous (and anonymous) Coquette about the three lifestyles humans tend to function with. Public, private, and secret lives. Public lives tend to be general common knowledge. Private lives are the ones we might restrict to close friends and family. Secret lives are the ones we completely keep to ourselves unless shared with a trusted confidant. I don’t know what it is about my presence that prompts people to grant me access to their secret life but it happens quite often and seems to give me more perspective on human nature.

One day I was having lunch with a friend and her family. She made sure to approach me at the table before the rest of our party arrived, casually whispering to me, “First and foremost, I didn’t do anything bad. But if my husband asks you about last night, we were hanging out together.” Her husband apparently thinks of me as a “safe friend.” What did my friend do last night that she felt the need to keep from her husband and why is she making me a secret-keeping accomplice? I was in shock, managing to articulate a slight nod as her husband joined our table. The subject (thankfully) never came up and I didn’t end up having to lie for her, but the incident stayed with me.

We never really know what’s truly going on in the lives of the people around us. Humanity constantly reaffirms me of this fact. Before your secret life catches up to you, remember to apply the golden rule to all three of your lives and handle your scandal. Just a thought.