You’ll sometimes come across something so unusual that it makes you wonder if it’s meant to be taken seriously or merely a joke. That’s the question arising from the popular new mobile game app, Kim Kardashian: Hollywood. With laughable advice tidbits like, “dating famous people will get you more fans too,” you have to wonder if Kim Kardashian intentionally modeled the game after her own questionable fame-seeking methods or if she’s simply poking fun at them. The following nine screen-captures from the game feature more gems you’ll learn while navigating your avatar through Hollywood to obtain A-list status, which is the actual goal of the game:
1. GIVE KIM FREEBIES
You work at a clothing store and are closing the place down, when Kim Kardashian appears. Demanding that you stay open for her and only her, you better give her free clothes or else you’ll be fired.
2. DON’T ASSOCIATE WITH NOBODIES
Non-famous people are so unimportant that their names are replaced with question marks. They will try to get your attention. Ignore them or your fame points will decrease.
3. INTELLIGENCE ISN’T FAVORED BUT LESBIANISM IS
Did the last piece of advice teach you nothing? Even a person with enough intelligence to be an engineer is still considered a question-mark named nobody in this game. However, kudos to Kim for making same-sex flirting and dating a game option.
4. BEING ATTRACTIVE WILL BE YOUR ONLY ACHIEVEMENT
Prepare to be “stunningly attractive” while having “no achievements.” At least you can get dates.
5. REACHING THE A-LIST IS YOUR ONLY GOAL
Your main objective is to obtain A-list status, so go out there and do whatever it takes to social climb.
6. BACKSTAB YOUR COMPETITION
Your PR team will help slander the competition for you. Aren’t they nice?
7. BAD NEWS IS STILL NEWS, JUST KEEP MAKING HEADLINES
The paparazzi will tell you that as long as you’re making news, it doesn’t matter if it’s positive. Being mentioned, period, is what matters most.
8. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN AND STAY EXPOSED
Your manager tells you to, “keep your head down – or wherever the photographers want it.” The more exposure, the better. So savory.
9. DATING PEOPLE WHO ARE MORE FAMOUS HELPS
You are encouraged to be dating or seen with people who will increase your social status, so you better aim higher than your current fame level.
I just pray this morally questionable game isn’t intended for children.